First if I could be anywhere I want right now in the world I would probably got to Mexico with all my family. It’s been a while I haven’t been there since like 2 years ago and it just brings a lot of good memories when I was young. But also there is another place I would want to be at and that would be at my mom’s and little baby sister’s grave because I haven’t been there for 10 years. My first plane ride was when I was really young, like maybe when I was six or seven years old so a was pretty scared. The part that I hated the most was when the plane lifted off the ground and when it landed, but after that I just got over it. I can sometimes see how people are really, but most people I know are fake, because some people just like to act like they are cool. But yes I sometimes see people for who they really are it depends if you known the person for a long time or you can believe them.
Edgar
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4 comments:
i am really sorry to hear that you havent been able to go see your mom and your babysisters grave for ten years. thats hard but it looks like your pushing through going on with your life. living everyday to the fullest.
I really like in the beginning how you said you would want to be with your whole family in mexico. This is becuase family is very important.Also it is cool how you want to go back to the graves of your family even though it would be very hard. In this paragraph though i got confused of how the plane ride came in, and how you can see how people really are. Transitions would help your reader out tremendously.
I like how you said you would want to be with your family. That would be my first choice too. My family means the world to me. Also, i am very sorry to hear that you haven't been to the cemetry in so long. I try and get to see my grandpa's grave as often as I can. I go when I am sad, or have upset, or just plain need to talk to smeone. it may sound wierd, but I find comfort in it. I like how honest you are in your writing. Takes a lot of bravery. You kind of jump around though, so maybe try using transition sentences? Otherwise, you're writing is great. O can really connect to it.
I have never been to Mexico but I know how much better you would feel with your family and the ones you love. I hate when you think you know someone and then they prove you wrong all the sudden. I think you are an amazing person and your doing so great keep it up!
-Kesha :)
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